BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
