I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
