my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
