what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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