i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The air taste purple.
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