At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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