yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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