y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.