gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.