I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
