it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body