Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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