her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
