I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
