I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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