So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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