would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
