i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
