Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize