So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
