This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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