Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
