i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
