While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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