i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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