i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
