I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
