The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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