My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i think my cat just said my name.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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