I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Houston, we have a blender
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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