Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
