32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
