I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize