We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
