this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
