i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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