HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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