david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
