I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
