So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
