I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
