That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You work out of a Hotel?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
