did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
