just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize