So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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