I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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