The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize