Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
