i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
