so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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