No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
