every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
