I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
