If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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