You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
