Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
