K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Small penises have feelings too.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you win again, gameday.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
