Porn is love you can see.
Someone shit on the floor
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
