your parents love me but you hate me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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