And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
