My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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