I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why didn't you poke me back
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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