I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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