He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
